Blue

Blue
an illustrated novel

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Chapter 2, Hey or What Blue Learned from Glurp

Nightmares have a way of sticking with a person, especially if they are recurring nightmares, particularly if they are nightmares wherein a strange, yellow, mannish creature continually engages in dramatic displays, seeking attention, remaining dissatisfied regardless of how much attention he is actually paid.

Glurp is just such a creature and it is in Blue's nightmares that he repeatedly performs. He is a singer, a dancer, a juggler and a mime. He walks the tightrope, leaps motorcycles over buses, dances with wolves, carries a six gun, with which he can shoot "Lincoln off a penny", swims underwater without coming up for air, ever, and makes a creme brulee which is to die for. Glurp also seems to know every word that was ever uttered and is not the least bit concerned others may not want to hear them. If there is a prompt, his quick quotation will follow, regardless of propriety or decorum. He quotes Ghandi in the same breath as Hitler and Martin Luther King with Nixon. Khomeini, Stalin, Castro, Reagan, Saddam Hussein, Bush and Capone tiptoe off his tongue and skip across the field playfully with Mandela, Kennedy, Carter, Lincoln, Queen Victoria and the Dalai Lama. He is both articulate and recklessly self indulgent in word and deed. Glurp is powerful. He makes even the heaviest object seem light as a feather, the most insurmountable task as easy as pie. Glurp is incredibly insecure.

Blue has always found him to be incredibly annoying. Amazing, but annoying. If you asked Blue what he thought of Glurp, he wouldn't be able to tell you, exactly. But if you asked him if Glurp was insecure, he would answer you emphatically, "NO". Blue was in awe of Glurp's many talents. In fact, when Blue first met Glurp, both of them were only seven years old and Blue was enamored. Blue had just finished wiping the last bit of chunky bile off of his sleeves and was turning to face the seventy-five foot tall peanut when two large round spots appeared before his eyes. They came closer to his face, obscuring his vision until all went black. He actually felt the spots bump up against his face. as he reached up to feel what the spots were made of they were removed from his eyes, enabling him to see, no more than five inches away from his own face, a very oddly shaped, yellow head.

"Peanut butter cup?", said the yellow head. There stood Glurp, in all his glory, green shirt, tight black pants and big eyes on a very yellow head, holding two peanut butter cups in his hands, the spots before Blue's eyes. He would have smelled the peanut butter if he hadn't been drenched in it a moment earlier. Blue couldn't think of anything more revolting than the thought of eating a peanut butter cup at that moment. It was about the funniest thing that had ever happened in one of his dreams and well worth a rather hearty laugh which Blue was more than willing to muster. The more he laughed, the more he thought about how funny it really was and the more funny he thought it was the more he laughed until, finally, tears began to stream down Blue's face, as much out of pure relief as anything else. "Whatsa Matta?!" Glurp teased, "Don't you think I'm funny? Goin' to have yourself a big blubberin' sob over a little candy?" Blue shook his head and held up his index finger, asking for a second to compose himself.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Glurp's the name", Glurp responded, "but you can call me Glurpendomulous Nobfidium Exparthenamius McGilililly Finnegoshion the third. How's about you?"

"I'm Blue"

"Of course you are, and why not, after all, how many times does a guy get eaten and spit back out by a seventy-five foot tall peanut?!"

"Somewhere in the neighborhood of about a hundred by now, I'd say," said Blue. "You see it just keeps happening over and over and over again. In fact, if you hadn't come along, it would probably be happening right about now. But really, my name is Blue."

"Well, Blue, it looks like I came along at just the right time," Glurp gestured over his shoulder," look, no more Mr.Nut!"

"You're right," said Blue, "thank you Glurpen-n-n-d-o..."

"You can call me Glurp"

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