"!!!KILTSCH!!!"
"Who the BAST are you?" Sal hollered as he awoke with Blue and Leer standing over him.
"And WHAT in FARB'S name are you doing here", "!!!KILTSCH!!!"
Sal had just uttered the worst word known, twice. No one said it.
Sal felt liberated. Saying the word made him realize that there was no going back, he could do anything he wanted and it couldn't get any worse. He had tempted the fates to the extreme, all because a couple of strangers were hovering over him as he lay in a state of disorientation, confusion and pure vulnerability.
Unfortunately for Sal, neither man who hovered above him had the slightest idea that !!!KILTSCH!!! was an exceptionally powerful word and, as a result, neither one of them noticed that he had said it.
Their blatant disregard for the event only made Sal feel more vulnerable. Surely, if these two men felt absolutely nothing at the utterance of !!!KILTSCH!!! they were of the alliance to the almighty. While Sal was indeed one of the more enabled average, he knew his place in the order of things. If these visitors were actually from the Grand Circle, Sal was not willing to risk the consequences.
"Excuse me" Sal said, almost humbly, "why do you visit me?"
"We have a matter to discuss" Blue said in a very disinterested tone. "It will not take terribly long, but we are unable to remain, at the moment." Blue put a hand on Leer's shoulder and turned him toward the door. "Victor's dead Sal, we did all we could for him, ...and for Max. Remember, we have a matter to discuss." Blue and Leer walked out of the room. Immediately upon their departure, a nurse came in to check on Sal.
"How are we feeling, Mr. .... Loreeenzo... Lor en zo, oh.... excuse me... MR. LORENZO!, how are YOU feeliNG?
"Who were those men?" Sal asked the intimidated nurse.
"Men?, what men?" the baffled nurse replied.
Sal simply disregarded her, "How the Varst does a guy get the Bastin Farbunkle out of this SNEED!?!
Sal wasn't home for more than twenty minutes when every light in his abundantly, well-appointed, home , suddenly went out.
And just as suddenly, the lights turned on throughout the house, then back out. "We are keenly interested in making the aquaintance of your FARB. We do NOT have time for the council and therefore MUST see Farb PERSONALLY!!!"
Sal had aquainted himself with the attribute formerly known as cowering to the extent that most of his limbs just drifted behind him, leaving his heart fresh for the pecking of any attack.
"I - ah - I ", he stuttered his reply, " I can't really guarantee anything really, I mean, I'm not like", Sal had never backed away from anything but he was falling apart like over-steamed broccoli. Sal didn't want to admit it, but he had never actually seen Farb. Any time he asked those who had to answer him, once and for all, whether Farb was human or deity, they responded exactly the same way..."Farb has told us that he is to each one of us what we make of him." The voice which spoke to him, intimidated Sal in the exact same way that Farb did so Sal decided he had better come clean and tell the voice the truth. "I cannot get you to Farb".
"We are disappointed, Sal Lorenzo", said the voice as the house became darker still.
"B-b-but, eh-i - I think I know someone who can", Sal sensed that his life depended on knowing,"Yes! I am quite sure that I can help you."
"GOOD! Take us to him", the voice rang through the house through every one of Sal's acoustically perfect speakers.
"Now?" Sal sheepishly uttered in a pissed off sort of way.
"Well, if next week would be better,
!OF COURSE NOW YOU BLITHERING IDIOT!"
The voice was not only loud but perfectly annoying, like scratching on the inside of the skull with thousands of miniscule Japanese garden rakes.
Sal put his arms up in defeat," Okay, O K. I will take you right now."
Suddenly the lights turned on and the voice was gone.
"Where the Varst is my SECURITY???!!!" Sal screamed into the air looking maniacally from one door to the next in his spacious study. His eyes came to rest on the very door through which, Bigger Ralph, one of the toughest security staff members, was now hesitantly walking, an expression of pure humiliation on his face.
In an uncommonly polite and proper way Bigger Ralph announced in the voice he uses only with his mother that Sal had visitors. As Sal began to yell that he does NOT ACCEPT VISITORS IN to h is h ome at s u ch hours. . . Bigger Ralph gingerly stepped aside as Blue and Leer emerged from behind the massive yet paralyzed Bigger.
"Ready?" Blue said with a smile that told Sal that he had no choice but to be ready. Sal nodded his head as though it weighed about a hundred pounds yet was only anchored to his neck with a twist tie from a bread bag, after all of the bread had been eaten and the cat decided the twist tie wanted to be a play-toy for the better part of an hour.
Sal, who clearly wasn't ready, looked at Blue and Leer, he was beaten. He was fleeced, in his own home, surrounded by security, armed in every direction. Sal got a beautiful idea. Sal got a beautifully, beautiful idea. Sal got a " I can kill these bastards " beautiful idea. Sal walked to an end table in the corner of his study and opened the top drawer. "I just have to grab my keys", he said. Sal turned with the ferociousness of a captured lion, pointing the gun at the exact spot where blue had been standing. Blue was no longer there. Leer was no longer there. Bigger was there, shoulders shrugged, palms up, a distinct look of confusion upon his hardened face. He innocently pointed over Sal's shoulder. Sal turned in the direction indicated by the big man's finger to find Blue, smiling at him. When Sal moved to point his gun at Blue he discovered that both his hand and Blue's hand were holding the gun. Sal was incapable of moving the gun so he decided to let go of the gun and elbow Blue in the gut while within the same motion driving the heel of his authentic Schauktawnee moccasins into Blue's toes, while reaching over his shoulder to grasp Blue by the hair, throat or shoulder, quickly flipping him to the ground where he would then blast a hole, the size of a grapefruit, into his face.
Sal was unable to move. Blue remained smiling, just over his shoulder, Blue rapidly peeled off a string of shots into the wall, spelling out a single word, FARB.
"farb", Sal whispered,"right",he continued. "I'll take you".
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