Max continued in great detail to further illustrate that she had feelings for him that ran deeper than he had ever before been willing to recognize. Leer understood this and was more than willing to listen to every detail. He had already decided that Victor would from this day forward be committed to Max in a way he had never been and that Max was going to help him on his path through this life. Every bit of information that Max could provide about Victor would be of immense value to Leer, so when Max paused and looked at him as if she had been carrying on or boring him in some way he said, "please, Max, continue."
"Do you remember what you told me about you and Gloria, when you were young?" Max asked without waiting for a response. Victor's sister Gloria was at the very center of the second thing that he had ever shared with Max in confidence...
"When I was young, very young, before I had ever met any kids from outside of the family, not brothers, sisters, cousins, nothin' y'know, I stuttered," he told Max. "Horrible, serious stuttering!" When he told her, Max thought Victor was going to cry right then and there in front of her, his expression showing a profound sadness intensified by self-loathing at his own weakness. He continued,"uncontrollable, ridiculous, fitful and embarrassing stuttering, the kind you could never live down if it was ever heard outside of the family, so disgraceful that no Alonso dared speak of it. It was like trying to get a sentence out of a bag of microwave popcorn, the same bastin' syllable repeated, over and over again, slowly, painfully at first, then popping out faster and faster' til my whole body shook and finally I nearly choked on it, my face exhausted I let that same stupid syllable flop slowly out of my sagging lips and flaccid tongue, giving up, hiding away whatever thought I had that seemed so important at the time; turning away from whomever I was trying to talk to - sensing their relief that they wouldn't have to try to understand me or even pretend to care. Because none of them did, not anyone, no one cared about me at all, except Gloria and , of course my mother, but she was too busy nursing my brother or makin' dinner or ironing, for Farb's sake, who needs that many pressed shirts,ever!. But Gloria, Gloria was different. Gloria loved me, not because she had to or anything, just because she did. She didn't run away from any challenge, ever. I think she stuck it out with me half the time just to prove that she could. No, really, I think she actually cared."
"Gloria used to sit down and start talking to this stupid little stuffed dog she called "Puddles" Then she would try to get me to talk to Puddles. Most of the time she'd tell me to just say hi to Puddles. So I would say...H-h-h-h-h-hi P-p-p-p-p-p-up-p-p-up-pu... I sounded like an old time car starting up, so Gloria would start doing it too. Then she'd pretend that Puddles was driving the car, scooting around on his ass all over the place, in the living room, across the dining room table and then we'd laugh and she'd crash him into me and we'd roll around on the ground laughing." Victor laughed to himself, remembering the faraway, innocent joy, but checked himself as he realized that Max had just learned a secret that no Alonso had ever shared. He brushed it away casually saying,"Before I knew it, I was a Farb-damn, silver tongued orator with a precocious penchant for prose, pleasantly performing poetic palpitations in perpetuity, primarily if not purely for personal pleasure!"
Although Max sensed that Victor felt that he had gone too far, allowing her to learn something that no one outside of the Alonso family had ever known, he seemed to somehow be relieved, as if some monstrously burdensome feeling of guilt had been suddenly and completely lifted from his shoulders; and that her silent acceptance of him and his humble beginnings was somehow a sign, a blessing of forgiveness and compassion from Farb himself. Every once in awhile, Max felt as though her very being, her energy, her soul, was somehow directly connected to Farb -his divine will, or even something more basic- pure truth. This was just such an occasion. She spent several days thinking about it. Mostly because Victor, who gracefully bowed his way backwards out of the house on the heels of his homespun alliteration, did not return for several days. He just disappeared. Max figured that he had run off to his man cave, but he hadn't. His boys had checked for him there a couple of times during his disappearance but he was nowhere to be found.
"Where did you go, Victor?" Max asked as she closed the lid on her treasure trove of the past so suddenly that it took Leer off-guard.
"I really can't remember," Leer said, almost without thinking, but it was the right answer for Victor, the old Victor.
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